Eliminators at Shartlesville Browns

The Browns hosted the Eliminators this afternoon (6/10), and it’s become clear that the Browns may never win again.

Game 1: Lester v Samardzija. The Sharts loaded the bases with 2 outs in the 1st only to have Reddick K… and then get ejected. Yeah, it was going to be that kind of series. In the 2nd the Browns scored 3 on an RBI double from Sal Perez and a 2-run double from Kyle Seager. Then the bats went silent. Lester was cruising, retiring 18 of 19 at one point when, with 2 out in the 8th, Castillo hit a ball at Corey Seager who did what 8 shortstops do and booted it. That’s all the Eliminators needed. Herrera (-9 vs LHP) singled to chase Lester. Bogaerts greeted Nate Jones with a 2-run double and then Steve Pearce put the Elims ahead with a 2-run HR. The Browns went 1-2-3 in the bottom of the 8th but at least tried to put up a fight against Reed in the 9th. Calhoun led off with a double followed by a Maybin walk. Salvy K’d and Fowler grounded into a double play to end it. This game was the bright spot in the Series for the boys from Shartlesville. Eliminators 4/5/0 Browns 3/5/1

Game 2: Sale v Cueto. The less said about the next two games, the better. Eliminators get the first run of the game in the 7th. Sharts tie it in the bottom of the 8th with a solo shot from Salvy. It stayed 1-1 till the 13th when former Browns Herrera and Segura both single. Herrera scores the go-ahead run on a wild pitch and Ian Desmond delivers Segura on a single of his own. Eliminators 3/9/0 – Browns 1/4/0

Game 3: Rodon v Gausman. The Browns take the lead in the 2nd on a Maybin sac fly. The Elims tie it in the 6th when former Brown Hanley Ramirez doubles with 2 outs and Steve Pearce singled him in. The Browns never threatened to score but the pen looked like they would keep them in the game. Cody Allen K’d 7 in his 3 innings of relief and with a runner on 2nd in the top of the 9th Donnie Hart K’d Desmond to end the inning. Mike Montgomery was summoned to start the 10th, for what looked to be another long affair. He had other ideas as he walked the bases loaded, surrendered a run on a sac fly, walked the bases loaded again before giving up a bases clearing double to Steve-Motherfucking-Pearce. Just for shits he walked the next batter too, before getting the last out. Five walks. Five. Five. Eliminators 5/5/0 – Browns 1/7/0

Notes: The Browns Slashed .150/.220/.206

Every Brown is available for trade.

This game is dumb.

Dice are dumb.

The real answer to the question “Where’s Matlock?” is: “In my head.”

Matlock’s goatee is dumb.

Baseball is dumb.

Manager Tony

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